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Westernized Willie Story

    Long ago, in Subutiland, there lived a big city subutilin named William. He was very lonely, even though he felt so claustrophobic in his tiny apartment, surrounded by other subutilins. He decided to move out of the big city and into the small town of Bandana, Arizona. When he arrived at the town, everyone stared at him with wide eyes and murmured something about a hat.“Maybe,” thought William, “they are all so excited that I am here that they are speechless!” He continued his stroll through the dry, dusty town until he got to the old farm on the outskirts of town. It felt so good to be out in the fresh air, have his own house, even if it was an old, rusty farm, and be free from all the stress. He unpacked his things, settled in, and found that it was very cozy and peaceful compared to the big city. William shuddered at the thought. He began to plan out the next day when he realized that he hadn’t found work yet. He looked around town for an application for some sort of business job, but the only business he could find was a bank, so he became a banker. Now, William sort of knew how to be a banker, he knew about numbers and mathematics because he was an important businessman in the big city, but he knew nothing about being a banker. He applied anyway, and made sure that it was easy for him, or at least the same as it was before… but William wasn’t content. He wanted to try something different. He became a cowboy, and it was the best job that he had ever had. He got to round up cattle on his miniature horse with the wind in his hair and the dust in his face. He was so free, so happy! Nothing had ever been so fun, so exciting, so… WESTERNIZED!!! William was going to turn over a new leaf. He wasn’t going to be the rich businessman who had no time for his fellow townspeople. He was going to become Westernized Willie, who protects the town from evil and saves them from droughts and natural disasters. He set off to find this “hat” that the townspeople spoke of. When he arrived at the town square to inquire about the hat, he found himself face-to-face with a large reddish-brown coat of bristly fur. The strangest thing was that he had a hat growing out of his back. This must be the Hat!!! All Willie could think of was to fight the bull and save the town from fear. Willie mimed snapping a whip to let the bull know that he was ready. He fought and clawed and scratched until he was worn out. The townspeople were silent. The bull snorted, letting the town know who was boss. All of a sudden, Willie heard the clang of a bucket. It was a red paint bucket. He picked it up and all of a sudden the bull started to breathe heavily through his nose, but the only thing Willie could hear was the sound of his fourth grade teacher telling the class about the North American bull’s bad eyesight.“The bull, “ she always said, “only sees red. If you throw a red ball, the bull will go and fetch it. If you ever encounter a bull, red is your secret weapon.” Willie understood. He threw the paint at an old barn. The red paint stood out against the old wood like a drop of blood on snow. The bull charged, crashing him into the walls of the barn. The townspeople cheered. Willie would now be the town’s hero. 
The End